We Made It...

Scott's last day of internship is tomorrow and he is headed home. Well, we don't really have a home but he is headed back to me and the kids. I am relieved beyond description that this part of our "journey" is over and we can go back to being a daily, functioning family of four, seven days a week. We have missed him terribly.

Now that our time apart is over I can write about the things I have learned without the fear that I am speaking too soon or I am going to jinx myself. I just knew if I said these things out loud before now the adversary would take that as a challenge and try even harder to pull me down. I couldn't risk that...I was barely staying afloat as it was.

So what have I learned through this whole experience?

First and foremost, our Heavenly Father and Savior are aware of the challenges each of us go through, on a daily basis. I believe that they watch over us very carefully and carry us in just the right moments when we can no longer walk on our own. I also believe that they stand back sometimes and lets us stumble, struggle and become discouraged so that we are humbled and remember that we will not succeed without their help. I am grateful for their love and comfort this summer during those moments when the tears started to fall and the pleading for help began. I am equally grateful for those bad days when I was broken down, so that I could later be rebuilt into a better version of myself.

I am stronger than I thought. I really think this has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but the payoff has been amazing. I have learned a lot about myself and I am not the weak, needy and emotional girl that I once was. There's an African proverb that says, "Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors". Sometimes it takes stretching beyond our comfort zones to find out just how capable we are.

I am comfortable now being alone and don't fear absence like I did before.

I can accomplish A LOT in a day when my priorities are straight.

There is so much JOY in the little things in life if you slow down to recognize it.

Love is truly about putting the needs of your spouse above your own. I always thought this was so hard because in my mind you would end up losing yourself or giving up so much of what you wanted you would be unhappy in the end. The truth is, when you do it with the right attitude the marriage becomes stronger because your partner in return wants to serve you, and the cycle continues. Even though I have had to make a lot of sacrifices this summer (not that Scott hasn't), I feel fulfilled and at peace because I know this was the best thing for Scott, his career and ultimately our family. It truly makes me happy to see him happy with what he is accomplishing. I DON'T BELIEVE IN KEEPING SCORE WITH YOUR SPOUSE! In my experience, nothing good has ever come from it.

NEVER take your spouse or children for granted. Even on those days when you just want to be left alone...take a deep breath, count to ten and then love on your spouse and kids like crazy. If they are annoying you, at least that means they are still very much apart of your life.

These are just a few of the thoughts I have had this summer. I am sure I will be adding to this list in the next few weeks/months as our lives return to normal.

These are probably "no brainers" for most of you. For me, they were lessons I needed to be taught. I had a lot to learn, I still do.